Focus Needed!

Like the title says, I need focus.

I'm a person of very very little focus, when I study if im alone I tend to... wander off mentally if I get bored with a subject, wondering on possibilities of this car being modded, dating that girl, doing this activity and so on and so on.

Anyways I need focus in finishing a few things, main priority is my fixie. I bought it as a project but shieeetttt, Ian, how many months has it been lying there being broken? Quite a few akshulleh.

Hopefully I can start stripping it down and restoring it back to health with a LOVELY surprise which I think, i'll be the only one in the whole world that has done that to his fixie ^.^V hoho swag points.

I need to also, lose weight. I lost 4kgs actually since the fight being depressed and eating less and having a proper nights rest, but I need the exercise. Bought jogging shorts until now I havent exactly used them, Ian you fatstuff. Go jog :B.

I need focus to read the bible and get closer to God, because really it must be God teaching me lesson after lesson after being so stubborn. It feels sad to neglect God because really, whether he exists or not to you atheists I know he exists, you cant explain why you get that gut feeling to read a certain verse, or that rush of coldness when you praise God. If you want to bring science into it be my guess, but what triggers it I highly doubt is of the world. Alienz hoho. I highly believe God exists, has been blessing me with material wealth, wisdom, love, choices, and has been there to take care of me. And pulling me out of a useless situation with a slap of reality? Lovely. I couldnt be more grateful to God and of course, the wonderful people that helped me realize my mistake.

I need also to finally get the courage to have a conversation with that certain person that I admire. 3 years and not a lot of convos ahaha, yes if you're reading this hihi :B. I'd like a bible buddy, perhaps you can help me? :3 Please?

Lastly, I need focus in studies, I pray that God will give me wisdom & knowledge for college because Lord knows im gonna need them in the choice of course and in terms of doing work.

I really think though that journalism should be a very good course for me since I love english, fur realz :B. The thought of long essays make me happy because i'm proud (not good, but yeah) of my English :p. Nowadays I hear from bosses in corporations the young generation is stupid because their english is so poor they cant communicate with people overseas, that makes me feel good but thats quite bad so i'll need to pray for humility HAHA :p.

OH WELL summary of it all i've got a lot planned out for 2012, and a HUGE project hopefully that comes true, will blog that later on this month hopefully? Buhbai :3.

145th Post.

I think this post is going to be more emotional hum-drum, if you're not intrested in how i'm feeling nowadays you can gladly stop reading here :).

Anyways moving on, i've reached a point in life where I cant figure myself out. The people I used to hang out with are gone, even if I magically become best buddies with them it doesnt really point direction in my life like it used to! Say when I was 14-15, I was experimenting on clothes, cycling, working out, dreaming for my car to be finished, waiting for my drivers license, wondering how post-SPM life feels like and really enjoying myself in the process.

Now its 4 years after 15, im 19 this year. I'm not exactly a kid anymore, only having a year more 'till being a proper adult so the worries of responsibilities have been bugging me, and I cant shake the worry. These days if you just use my iPhone and scroll through my twitter you're bound to find something like ' I dont give a fuck la just chill ' or ' Fuck you you think you very cool meh? ' , idk if its just me or what but I find cursing a major turnoff? Especially girls nowadays jeez, whatsup with your mouths, so scary la to think that future mothers are going to be scolding the kids with 4 letter words and having a IDGAF attitude in the family.

Unlike our parents, they work hard, they dont have 'SWAG' like us, i'm really worried that someday the whole world is gonna screw itself up because of this current generation. If you were to survey around nowadays whether anyone thinks of marriage, you'll get a lot of yes's but preparing yourself for it? Not much. Nobody cares to care for one another also, its not common hearing some weird kid being left out or picked on in school because he's socially awkward. I mean okay la if he's irritating I get you, but why not try to fix them? If all fails then abandon ship la, at least you TRIED.

I mean hey they're 18, smokings cool, pool is cool, driving flashy cars is cool, having SWAG is cool, cursing your mother is cool, seriously doesnt anyone get tired of this? Or is it just me? Party this party that dont give a damn about this dont give a damn about that.

Generally im concerned on how the world is ever going to function since we have this attitude nowadays, the young generation just doesnt care at all about fixing or improving ANYTHING except on how cool they are. Ask them whether they know how to fix a doorknob, a car, or cook fried rice majority wont. Ask them whats the best place to shisha, mod a car, or club they'll never stop talking.

If really Malaysia is going to screw itself up over time sorry to say Malaysia, I love you so much but if the people in it are going to ruin you im leaving for a better country that has more patriotism and cares more about upbringing of the society rather than here. I dont want my kids to be clueless idiots just demanding for more material wealth and swag instead of doing something usefull.

Doesnt anybody out there ever want a clean image and to be full of knowledge, or is that just me? :( Changing a countries mentality wont be easy thats for sure heh. I'm surrounded by majority of people that just dont care, but thankfully by the grace of God I still have those few people that keep these few qualities and are actually bothered about how they live. IF I ever lose those friends you can pretty much expect me to dissapear just as well, I dont enjoy living with people who are AWESOME at not caring about anything but themselves and how to enjoy everything.

I've also given up trying to correct other people that dont wanna be corrected, y'know its ironic I got scolded for having an anger problem when the person that lectured me had the same thing, not exactly practicing what you preach but were human. So... thats not for me to answer to, let God work the knots out of them.


MY MY i'm making myself depressed, maybe I should stop now.

Life Can Be Weird.

Oh. so. weird.

It's been... 2 months? I think since the quarrel.

I'm officially outcast from my old 'gang' whoever hangs out with who anyways, and surprisingly it doesnt feel too bad!

I always had this mentality that they were my only friends, but wow. Life really can change, detour, whatever you wanna label it as, and suddenly old friends are popping up from all over the place.

Y'know I dont really care if they read this, because it reminds me of how cheap words are. That goes both ways on what I promised people and what they promise me, I never thought I would have ruined my friendship so bad with them, and I never thought they would leave me because I always was bombarded with "Brother mou?". Fuck your brother mou's la, they're for people that will never ever make you unhappy. I have finally come to realize that I, for myself, need to think a LOT before speaking, doing anything in particular because the lack of thinking has made me in such a situation. Also need to keep a mental memo that birds of the same feather flock together, no wonder when I cant deliver it goes vice versa.

All that bullshit of saying " you're like a brother, brother mou, brothers for life "... has no weight at all. IRONICALLY though, the people that I thought would never speak to me again in my life did, and have started contacting me out of the blue.

I find life very weird, and im very dissapointed at the poor choices i've made in my high school days. Have been warned by seniors, other people, but no I still decide to be ignorant and have lotsa fun. Its sad I cant take back time... but nevertheless this is still one of my BEST life lessons and probably the most HURTING. Yeah if you were wondering I still do have my emotions and I DID enjoy my time being with them but people change.

Heck before this everyone didnt hang out with each other, some of them didnt like other people of certain groups. Ironic right? But I guess thats what makes us humans, human, we judge on reputation.

I may have screwed up more than once but from now on I highly doubt i'll do this again, I dont really want to remember what has happened or who didnt like who because it makes me feel like i've been very unjustly accused, but then again my crap was more prominent than the rest so i'm guilty as charged.

This post will be here to remind me to shut my mouth more often, think, PRAY to God so that I wont live my life  thinking and most importantly, find friends that actually care & bother about me, like, really bother not just fucking yapping on how 'brotherly' we are and then dissapearing when I screw up.

I'm glad though that they're kind enough to forgive me (I hope, sincerly) so bless them for that. Really God, I have tons of reasons to be mad but I know I shouldnt because they're human and so am I, who am I to judge? They have fixed me so thank you for that if you're reading this, may somebody else better than I am fix them because clearly i'm not needed to them anymore, and my words hold no weight anymore. Trust takes a very long time to gain, but a second to lose. This saying couldnt summarize my mistake any better sadly. I dont blame anybody for leaving though, after all we all were a group that doesnt stay at home, listen to mommy and daddy go to church and be goodie 2 shoes. I DO want to be like that though, so its time for me to start cleaning up my act and have a 180 degree turn in who I am. I've also come to a point where i'm not as funny as I used to be, less vulgar, less energetic, poorer, uncool, basically im becoming someone entirely different hoho.

Thank you all though for whatever you've given me as a gift, box of golden lugnuts, a very lovely mixtape (CD) with cutesy words written all over it, letters when I still mattered in your life, the hugs, the countless repairs on my car, the yamcha sessions, heck even the Penang trip. If I never went i'd still be living life as an irritating douchebag so thank you all for fixing me up after. Thanks also for leaving me out all the time after finding new people to talk to, it made me realize how disposable a 'brother' is after he screws up, and how many more funnier more fun 'brother's are out there.

Now though I dont know actually who needs me around. Mmm. Life is very very weird. I wonder how college life will be... I just hope, and pray very very hard I dont get my life stuck in this same cycle where everynight I do nothing but make jokes, smoke a couple of shishas, call everyone bro then go home.

I want my life to be more than that. More fulfilling and in depth than that.

Ohai!

Hipster Rapunzel is heeepstuh. I couldnt resist stealing it (her?) off Tumblr, shes pretty cute no? HAHA anyways hey guys, havent been blogging in 2 months and wow time sure passes by hasnt it? 2012 has so far been okay for me, not the best start of a year but it HAS been a month full of learning for me at least.


Mmm I dont know where to start or what to blog, seems like i've lost my touch in everything from being layzeeee. Camera has been idling under my awesome-possum shelf, nothing has been done with my car, my fixie is still uh... not yet fixed, but I lost 4KG's magically. Oh yey! :D

I've started reading the bible ! Omg Ian isn't Ian anymore. Well 2 days ago I decided to start reading the book of Proverbs, starting at 3am I didnt expect to read much but I ended up doing 20 Chapters LULZ. #Randomfactaboutme I love reading when I have the mood to.

So I think i'll start this post with a review of what i've read? :)


KAYS, Proverbs is well, a book of proverbs. Its supposed to be advice in life to help people make WISE choices. Wisdom = Using knowledge and experience with common sense & insight. One thing notable about Proverbs is that it can be applied to both Christians & Non-christians as this is about wisdom! However it might be hard to understand as this was written during the BC era, so it has to be interpreted to a modern meaning.

So some proverbs that were more noteable for me were:


1. Proverbs 2:9-10 Honor the Lord with your wealth with firstfruits of all your crops; then your bars will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

This means always remember to give back to God whatever he has blessed you with, noted in the bible somewhere, is said to be 10%. Will get back on that when I read more! Its not an offering of wealth, more of an offering of respect? It shows that we appreciate what has been blessed to us.

2. Proverbs 2:11-12 My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke; because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Generally I think this is pretty simple to understand, but it must be examined in depth as well. God disciplines us by allowing problems or 'calamities' in our lives, but in that calamity is a lesson learned. I was a smoker last year, I've always known smoking wasnt good but I didnt stop. Anyways God did something about that, I have this ODD sideffect to smoking: anger. I got super angry last year and tada, I instantly lost a group of buddies. At first I was devastated at what i'd done, however looking back its not really much of a loss. Out of that whole group only a certain few actually bothered for me to stop smoking, or even bothering to overlook why I was angry and get to the source of the problem. Needless to say I was 'disciplined' by God, God is showing me that smoking is bad, and I shouldnt mix with people that have an IDGAF attitude.

3. Proverbs 3:27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when its in your power to act.

Simple, if you can help someone in need now with minimal effort, why wait? Hence I really like this verse as I really like helping people in small things. Advice on cars, clothes, polishing or restoring something small, cooking even maybe? Have yet to try that :D.

4. Proverbs 6:3 Then do this my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbour's hands: Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbour!

Basically its just a verse saying, if you've done wrong, apologize! Its simple, and it shows that you admit your mistake. I screwed up pretty bad last year, so again this verse applies to my life.

5. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

Silly me. Again another verse that shows my stupidity.

6. Proverbs 11:28 Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.

I think its about learning to trust God, but really la. Trusting in money nowadays is... shaky. Its not stupid dont get me wrong, but how long more will the world's economy stay the same? I'll rely on it, not pull all my trust, hopes & dreams into it. If I lost my money i'd lose my 'life'.

7. Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.

Its a complicated way of saying, those that are humble enough to change for the better will benefit more from being humble, unlike those who are proud thinking their own ways are correct, are stupid. Why? Simple really. Were human, if you think your own thoughts are right, why do you think there are rules, laws, and such? Ponder on that.

8. Proverbs 14:7 Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.

Stay away from fools, what can you gain out of them? The definition of fools are ALL over Proverbs, if you're curious but dont own a bible I think there are online bibles where you can just read it for fun :B.

9. Proverbs 16:4-5 The Lord works out everything for his own ends- even the wicked for a day of disaster. The Lords detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.
This verse scares me, it shows that God actually CAUSES misfortune to people that are wicked and proud. Wicked I can understand, but pride? I guess its something to do about people who are too proud to admit their mistakes, a.k.a one of the descriptions of fools in the bible... need to get into this moarrrrr. It also makes me happy, knowing that at least bad people will get punished one way or another and I dont have to even bother :).

10. Proverbs 16:7 When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

Protection. Thats what this verse oozes, God will take care of you if you're good in his eyes I guess?

11. Proverbs 16:22 Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it, but folly brings punishment to fools.

Folly: Its meaning is acts of stupidity. For people who play all night, sleep all day, have that " Dont care la" attitude about anything, you've been warned. It will have an effect on your life one way or another. I have the fear that i'm going to screw up again so I dont want to do acts of  'folly' anymore. Or as little as possible, life is all about balance yeshhh? :3

12. Proverbs 17:5 He who mocks the poor shows contempt for their Maker; whoever gloats over disaster will not go unpunished.

Im guessing this verse is the fact that God doesnt like people who have no pity to people, if you've been blessed, bless people! Dont be cocky and think your riches can never be taken away :).

13. Proverbs 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

We all should be forgiving, cause it gives everything a second chance. Fools however, repeat the problem and seperate friendship. Simple!

14. Proverbs 19:29 Penalties are prepared for mockers, and beatings for the backs of fools.

So again, assurance for the people who have been put down. There will be some sort of punishment waiting for you, trust me. I got mine :). Those that look down on me & made fun of me, or even you who ever is reading this, they will get their own problems someday.

15. Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Sadly to say, i've fallen into this category before and i'm paying the price now everyday of my holidays, but its okay. It goes both ways :B. People who gossip, nobody trusts them and nobody likes people who cant be trusted. So... hoho. Gonna be much quieter this year.


I need moar wisdom from God needless to say, i'm only human. Read ALL the bible!
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Okay enough bible-y stuff! Moarrrrrrzzz on muhself yo! I've bought jogging pants! Hopefully I can lose a tad more weight before college so I can get my swag on ;). I need a jogging/more to walking buddy, hopefully I can think of someone :O.

Chinese new year was preeeetty awesome for me! Finally met up with my cousins in Singapore, grandparents, and other relatives. Difference this year was that I actually flew down with the family instead of driving down, and oh God plane flights the only thing I love is the takeoff. Why? It's feels like a giant turbo kicking in HAHAHA :p. Anyways its good to reunite with my cousin, miss chatting with her. Didnt have much energy that day, so I was actually nodding off in Singapore...

And oh my gawd the vans they have there are so nice <3. Vans california reissue oil green canvas (what a name), I really wanted that but my mum said: " You've already got 5 pairs of shoes, why you need more?" Sien. No reason. I just shut up and left the shoez :'(.

Mmmm and the most annoying thing about visiting. "Ian you so handsome and tall now, you dating ah?"

"No aunty, not dating anyone yet la heh."

I dont hate answering that, but really... is quite frustrating sometimes to elaborate why im not dating even though I look absoloutely fab to the auntiez. I really havent fallen in 'love' with anyone since the starting of my second form 4, and really besides her I cant find anyone else that give's me that warm fuzzy feeling of being stupidly in love.

IDK why. It's just weird -__- , and after last year i've become even more emotionally dead. Walking in malls looking at random girls I just get bored. so. so. bored.

I think really the only way i'm going to ever start dating is if I ever cross paths with a girl that has the traits of a God loving mother, can make me laugh, and actually pursues me as much as i'd love to pursue her back... physically I dont have any criteria's whatsoever, as long as she's decent height and doesnt look like a truck.

So why haven't I bothered with dating aunty? Mmm. There you go. If I have to do majoritiy of the chasing, i'll only chase that special someone when I have a job and I intend to marry my last girlfriend :). Third time's the charm? Maybe. Lets see how 2012 goes!



Oh and i'm FINALLY going for my first trackday! Going with the lovely people from 4G1series peeps yo :). They're a bunch of 4G1-engined enthusiasts who know their way around a proton like a... mmm. brain surgeon knows his way around a brain :D. Friendly enough to invite me for trackday & even lend me a helmet, how can I say no? Feel free to sign up to their forum! Im sure they'll love the extra members :D.

Oh God its 6AM.

Err. Yes so thats an update on how i've been! See y'all around :3.

Kaleidoscope Ais

If you know this song well enough, by Panic! At The Disco, I think the lyrics are really meaningful. Have a listen gais? :B For the girl whos heart I never won over :). I think, who knows, even you! My awesome reader may relate to this :p.

And All That Glitters Isn't Gold

Ah metaphors. Gold is shiny. Valuable. Precious. Im comparing this post with gold because... SPM is over. Big whoop :(. Ironically everyone should be overjoyed, y'know freedom, no more BM, no more Sejarah, Add math, the list goes on why we should be rejoicing and all, though oddly I dont have that sense of happiness. A few reasons why too!

First off would be the responsibility i've gained. Magically, 8 days after SPM my mums already nagging me to find a college. WELL of course I will, but it's coming up much faster than I expected, I dont feel relaxed after SPM worrying about that. Then too on the matter of money, I cant be going out everyday cause that uses gas which is money, which comes from my dad. Basically i'm just an 18 year old leech now HAHA. Omnomnomnom munny :3. It's so fast time flies... my last post was 2 weeks ago. Looking back it flew by like nothing. Studying, sitting for the real thing, and running out of art once im done... officially now i've shed that kid part of my life, high school with a g-shock having pocket money to blow, eating canteen food, going for awesome tuitions, i'll never get to repeat that ever in my life.

Then... a few more things im gonna miss about high school would be the people. True, I was with juniors but I think junors can teach me a lesson as good as a senior, maybe even more. I spend m time 90% worrying, they managed to balance that out to about 60%? I've learnt from them I shouldnt care so much about peoples perception of me, cut my hair a weirdly. It'll grow back, at least you know what you're not missng the next time someone gets the same haircut as you cause you've been there done that right? I dont want to live my life in fear all the time, and certainly im out of that phase.

I've gotten so much memories back in highschool for the 2nd time around. Sitting for exams with new friends. Not a lot of people get that chance in life, im GLAD I resat through my highschool! Though, my heart is still somewhere in there. I had this crush called uhm... E :D. Kays. Really the whole world knows about it, but for the sake of privacy no names mentioned. If you're actually reading my blog, hi :). (May I hug you at prom? Haha :p) Its odd. I never really believed that I could fall in 'love' with someone in high school, especially when i'm 17. For those 2 years that i've been in high school, and out, I really really miss crushing on her. I think its still my biggest crush to date... I've always wanted a girlfriend who I can cook with, watch endless disney movies, read the bible, learn about God more, maybe even have dinner with her parents :/. Someone who can bring me down to earth and well, yeah. On paper she was perfect to me. I dont think I really can disagree up till now with her choices, descions, likings, its really 100% for me. BUUUUUUT, see, were really different people.

Her dad's a doctor, last I remember. Shes very much more educated then I am. Science stream, rich buddies,  all of them are sheltered and have very very lovely prestigious lifestyles which really im jealous of. Always wanted to have a life where I wake up, wear a polo tee, chino shorts & blue-grey vans, use my own car and do whatever they do. Well its all very idealistic, but I really wish I had more CLASS. Anyways, I guess why we never worked out is because im at opposite ends of the spectrum as her. I have a shaved head (now) with hair on top, looking like a chubby jay park. I'll never be slim, boyish, adorable cause im 5'11. Love loud old cars, she prolly loves being fetched in a BM or Merc. I hang around in mamaks, skate parks, she goes to BK class which i've always wanted to go with, but I never do cause I always feel so left out.


So on paper she was everything I ever wanted, but its like buying a car again. If you dont have the means nessecary, and it just doesnt FEEL good it wont work. Everytime I talk to her, I get intimidated. You know the symptoms, stammering, blushing, being uber quiet and spazzing. That was at the start of the year, and its stil the same now... odd huh, what someone can do to you permanantely? I've gotten over her but 2 songs really remind me of her. Like a G6 by far east movement & dev , and legs by Jer Coons? Yeah. IT WAS EFFING WEIRD when both those 2 songs came on shuffle the other night while I was driving home from supper, instantly I started spazzing as if she was watching me, creeeeeepy. Went home, hit the sack and I dreamt about her. After prom i'll prolly never see her again :).

Weird huh. I cant believe I actually still think about all these from time to time... at least im following her on tumblr whoohoo! :D One of my favorites to reblog from considering what I like, she likes. And its all there for meeeeee (and everyone else that follows her).

Then ah. My car. Broken fiberglass bucket seat, a jammed rear right door, chipped paint & wheels, loud exhaust and an engine bay so filthy it looks like a 16 year old car. Which it is by the way. I LOVE EVERYTHING BOUT IT, 'cept the fact its not flashy as a sports car, or new... nyways I plan to make it faster, though now its pretty much pushing the limits of the clutch and brakes. REALLY need to consider getting R32 Skyline brakes for it soon.

Kays then theres December's events. Camp. Education fair. Proms to perform at. Prom to attend, for my last time ever. The penang road trip that were going for. Christmas BBQ. New Years Eve. Work. I've got a shizzload on my brain and thats just the major stuffs :B.

Minor would be, getting my IC fixed, the chip stopped working so I need to get that done ASAP. Vacumn my car, go jogging, polish my car, learn cooking (ALONE), be more nice to people, learn to be optimistic, pay back my dad. Church. I really miss church. God. I need more of his guidance.


I'm officially a grown-up with small problems leaking into my life, and I have to make desicions which would make me or break me. Money. God. A lovely girlfriend. Education. Haha I might as well think of my wife to be huh? :p Anyways not to burst anyones bubble but really, post SPM life if you're responsible and not a life-time waster, its not fun cause theres no excuse for you to be a kid anymore.


AAAAAAAND if you lose your heart in high school, you'll get it back. Just not completely cause part of it is just left there which is no joke :|. I dreamt I danced with E in prom with Panic! At the disco's bittersweet playing, which really when I woke up I teared a little. My favorite song with someone i'll never see again. Boo :(. Reality sucks. Can I be Peter Pan & stay in neverland?

I'll be off for now, gotta hit the sack. Its the 9th of December, at 6.20am. I smell like a hint of tobacco & a baby. The whiff of cigs are from friends, and my bath shower cream which is full of 100% swag (Johnsons Baby Milk BUFF :B) is thankfully making it sweet to smell.


My only wish would be that E reads this before 2011 is over. At least if i'll never get to express myself, my blog will :3. I'm going to miss 2011, really really am.

It's Almost December!

Ah yes. SPM's almost over, my room is in a mess, and i've gotten more junk to fill it up with. Specifically this BRIDE Zeta II seat which is just taking up space upstairs, and a Nissan GTR Transmission Oil Can which is my new trash can hahaha.


Not much new updates for this month. SPM has been taking up 90% of my time. Spending most of my time worrying on how hard the exam is going to be, at least I can worry because i'm done with 50% of the exams. Science is in 2 days, and Arts & Perdagangan in 10.


Though emotionally i've been pretty down. I just realized how i'm so afraid to ask for anything from my parents compared to last time. Even shoes I have doubts in asking them for another pair cause I already have 2, which would be red and black sneakers which I wear everywhere all the time. Then I also have slip on Vans which really, I cant remember how old they are. I need to wash them though :O.


Even when I asked whether I could get this limited edition G-Shock I got scolding... gah. I know I have a lot of watches, but none of them were really chosen by me, except my green G-shock which I really really like :(. I feel like I have no more opinions living at home, whatever is given i'll just take it and have to make do.


Though my shoes are awesome! Just wish I had shoes that look more mature than sneakers.


So okay nevermind that. Mmm let see. Updates on the wagon? None. I have a vanilla scented air freshner if that counts, and my right door is permanantely jammed shut. I really dont understand how a door jams...


Need to start working after SPM. Even seat rails and upholstery i'm afraid to ask my parents for more budget, and best of all my seats err, frame, literally broke. Again another mystery there, so i've got to get it patched and painted. Any suggestions to what I should paint it to? Im thinking of solid gloss grey again.


I'm getting super lazy to mod the Nissan, Truth be told. Having a rare car with majority of shops that dont fix it, I get quite tired scouting for places and working to get it all repaired. Even now brakes, to upgrade them, I have a big headache on what would fit, and where I would even get the money to fix them in.

There are some days I just feel like selling the wagon to get something more modable like a satria and just be done with it. Having my broken audio system in the car is also killing me. I tell you if my suspension blows, like literally starts leaking i'll prolly dump the car at home. At least I can still outcorner 99% of family cars on the road, that keeps me happy.


Anyawys lesson learned, money is super important and thats why I will work hard to get money next time. I hate having no money. Hmm christmas is around the corner, and so are proms, camps, the penang roadtrip, and God knows what else is upcoming, im gonna be super busy this month.


Whats more I've got to get the camera up and running again, tidy my room, fix the fixie (pun not intended), rewire the subwoofer, and powdercoat my amplifier & camshaft cover. Hoooo see how much money I need just to have everything working?

This would be the drawback of having things 2nd hand and not doing things right the first time, like spray paint on my valve cover. Biiiiiig mistake. I hope once SPM is over I can be happy again, I've been feeling down these past few weeks, all I ever do is spend money on things I dont really need to make myself happier for a short while and thats it. Things that really make me happy are missing from my life, but, I dont know what they are.

I'll be trying to figure that out later, for now its back to 'studying', buhbai :D.